i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
