So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
