mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
