just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
