She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
