i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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