Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize