I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
