you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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