So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize