please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
