I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize