Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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