And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
