He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
