Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize