So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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