best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
either way he was missing a nipple.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
