I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
