Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
