So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
