I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
