we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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