The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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