I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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