The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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