Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
