ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
