Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
