i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
