i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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