he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
