last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize