Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
