He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
