Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
