i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
