Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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