Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Piggy_Penishek hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

consequently i now know what mace tastes like

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

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(409): View more from Texas

I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop

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(404): View more from Georgia

Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.

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