I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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