I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
