I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
