was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
