Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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