Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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