Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

Fav 36 7299 2838
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

(508): View more from Massachusetts

He does that

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(618): View more from Illinois

Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom

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(803): View more from South Carolina

He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

Fav 2 1455 528
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.

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(941): View more from Florida

My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick

Fav 0 28 181
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