fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
