Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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