i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
