i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
