You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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