the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize