I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
