CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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