who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
