You can't motorboat a personality
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
