dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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