Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
