I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
