i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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