So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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