I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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