i think i have two assholes
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
